I know...it's silly but I really didn't think I would ever think that thought. After 4 years of college and 3 years of grad school, I really thought I was DONE done done.
But today I read a play. A new play. And to be honest, that's something I haven't done in well over a year. I realized I should probably read the play I'm auditioning for on Saturday... And well...This play fired something up inside of me...and I can't really explain it yet. It's one of those juicy plays that makes you a little queasy and uncertain about things so you have to go back and read it again...that usually means it's well written (at least in my opinion). To be quite honest...on a first read...I have no idea what it was all about. There was a lot going on...and it held my interest to the very end. And all I can think about it is how I want to sit in a rehearsal hall right now and be a part of the discussions that occur at the beginning of the rehearsal process. I don't know how this audition will go so I can't guarantee that will ever happen. So...and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but... I'd love to go back to my first year of grad school and discuss this play in my text analysis class.
I yearn for those days of intellectual stimulation. God knows I don't really want to write another 36 page paper about Ibsen's Wild Duck...but I wouldn't mind discussing it again in a room full of smarty pants who probably think faster than I do.
But it's not just the discussions that I miss. It's the camaraderie. The companionship. My cohort. There is something incredibly amazing about being locked up in a conservatory for 3 years with the same 9 people, throwing your whole attention onto the thing you love most. Exhausting? Yes. Intimate? Very...but also very easy. Built in companions. Support. Being around people who love you and respect you and understand you because you share a passion for the same thing. I miss that so desperately. It's almost cruel that we have to "break up" after 3 years, forced to re-enter the real world and do non-theater things. For 3 years we ate, slept and breathed theater...only occasionally (and by that I mean once in a blue moon) taking mini breaks to Disney World or the Sarasota beaches (I know...rough life huh?).
If only one could be a serial student. But I have to remind myself that sometimes "Life" is one of the best classrooms there is. Every day is a learning experience, even if it doesn't provide stimulating nerdy conversations. It's hard to leave behind that title of "student"...especially when that title sat on my shoulder for the better part of my life. And I know I can certainly go back to school if I ever want....but for right now I think I'll refrain from seeking another degree...and stick to continuing education courses like: Blogging 101 and Parenting: How to raise an adequate child.