But I am at the end of my rope. I even had 2 hours off today to go get my hair done...see below! And even that nice break away from whining/crying/teething Gunnar was not enough. I'm mad at him for being so wiggly during diaper changes, and then I am mad at myself for getting mad at him. I desperately want to be the mother with endless patience today...but I am not.
I think this is the hardest part of motherhood so far...trying to find patience when it has been exhausted, and then dealing with the guilt.
Someone asked me the other day if Gunnar was beginning to "manipulate"? I know that babies begin to learn the consequences of cause and effect around 6 months...and some might say that babies will begin to attempt to manipulate. But I truly believe Gunnar is just having a rough time with teething...so he's crying or rather screaming A LOT. I'm sure that he's beginning to take notice that we respond to these "screams" and it's possible that he could be just trying to get our attention...but if that were the case shouldn't the crying stop as soon as attention is paid? Even when I'm holding him and giving him all the love and affection one could need...he still screams in pain. I also blame tiredness for the moodiness...his AND mine. I'm sure part of his complaints are also caused by the cyclical nature of my moodiness...in the same way a friends bad day can turn into your bad day...
But...Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully I'll get enough sleep tonight and we'll start anew with a more regular nap schedule tomorrow.
|Mommy Makeover Stages 2 & 3 completed. Cut 3 inches off & Makeup!! Much Better.||Tune in tomorrow for the 4th and final stage...|