Overwhelmed by YOU!!!
Well I never expected the beautiful responses I received from my hard day today. Thank you, Thank you everyone. To be honest, I didn't realize so many were actually reading my blog...
Not only does it feel good to know that I'm not just talking to the universe (and myself), but it is humbling and comforting to know that so many of you have been through/are going through the same thing (not that I'd wish it upon anyone). And even those who haven't, thank you for reaching out and expressing your concern. Despite the hardships of this day...I feel very, very Loved.
It was a very hard afternoon as time and time again I let Gunnar cry it out in his crib, hoping he'd be able to catch a few more zzzz's. He was able to put himself to sleep everytime even if it took 30 minutes of crying. He cried for 30 minutes, fell asleep for 10 minutes...awoke screaming, cried for 20 minutes, fell asleep for 10 minutes...woke up fussing, cried for 30 minutes, fell asleep for 20 minutes...woke up crying, cried for 5 minutes and then slept for 90 minutes (finally!). After a short lived evening with mommy (daddy was late coming home) he got his bath, a baby massage, story time with Daddy (once he got home) and is now in bed for the night. I can already tell it will be a long night...I've heard him 3 times in the last hour since I put him down...but I'm going to try to be tough. My goal is to only get him out of his crib if: a) his eyes are open and is crying (or) b) I can smell a poopy diaper. It's going to be hard...so wish me luck.
Many of you responded saying I'm not a bad mom. I know that I'm not a bad mommy...it's just days like today when it seems like nothing I do can make my child happy...that I feel like a failure, even when I know I'm not.
Gunnar and I will be okay...we'll get through this. As many of you said "This too shall Pass"...(fingers crossed!)
...and now to sleep...
Not only does it feel good to know that I'm not just talking to the universe (and myself), but it is humbling and comforting to know that so many of you have been through/are going through the same thing (not that I'd wish it upon anyone). And even those who haven't, thank you for reaching out and expressing your concern. Despite the hardships of this day...I feel very, very Loved.
It was a very hard afternoon as time and time again I let Gunnar cry it out in his crib, hoping he'd be able to catch a few more zzzz's. He was able to put himself to sleep everytime even if it took 30 minutes of crying. He cried for 30 minutes, fell asleep for 10 minutes...awoke screaming, cried for 20 minutes, fell asleep for 10 minutes...woke up fussing, cried for 30 minutes, fell asleep for 20 minutes...woke up crying, cried for 5 minutes and then slept for 90 minutes (finally!). After a short lived evening with mommy (daddy was late coming home) he got his bath, a baby massage, story time with Daddy (once he got home) and is now in bed for the night. I can already tell it will be a long night...I've heard him 3 times in the last hour since I put him down...but I'm going to try to be tough. My goal is to only get him out of his crib if: a) his eyes are open and is crying (or) b) I can smell a poopy diaper. It's going to be hard...so wish me luck.
Many of you responded saying I'm not a bad mom. I know that I'm not a bad mommy...it's just days like today when it seems like nothing I do can make my child happy...that I feel like a failure, even when I know I'm not.
...and now to sleep...
Well, I haven't been THROUGH it, but I'm reading it, too. And your writing is beautiful. And yes, I have no experience to work with, but I KNOW, in my SOUL that you are the best mom in the universe. I know your sweet soul, and your leadership skills, and your generosity. I can only imagine how hard it must be sometimes. But I KNOW, bone deep, that you are the human that I want trusted with our next generation. Nitey-nite, Gunnar & Mom. XOXO
ReplyDeleteMJM.