Well let's be honest here. There is no option. As my dear husband informed me not so long ago...me playing stay at home mommy is "not sustainable long term". So there ends the question. But not really. There's a lot more to it than just deciding to go back to work. Because I don't have a job to go "back" to. We just moved to the Chicago area two months before Gunnar was born and I haven't held a job since 2008. I do have a shiny new degree and lots of experience to boot but not sure where to start in Chicago.
I wish I had the luxury of making the choice to stay at home, but I guess in the long run with my student loans, rent, car payments and a new baby, money is our major obstacle. I so desperately want to fight for my right to stay at home. I love being a part of Gunnar's day. I love it. Even when it's hard, I love it. It's virtually impossible to get anything done, but I love it anyway. There is a reason I used to get paid to do this...it's a full time job. If only I could get paid to be a mommy. Argh! But I can't very well justify working just to work. Daycare is far too expensive in this city and I flat out refuse to pay for someone else to raise my child just so I can work a retail job. I don't want to work just to pay for daycare, that makes no sense at all. There has to be something I can do to create revenue. My etsy shop is a start...but a couple hundred bucks a month apparently won't cut it (according to the DH).
I've been looking for teaching jobs but not finding much in the area. I really miss the stage and would love to start auditioning again, but first I need to figure out what to do with Gunnar. I have yet to find a daycare in the city that has drop-in hours (let alone one that will accept an infant under 15 months) and I just don't know how to go about finding a trust-worthy babysitter that would be available during the day and one that won't cost me an arm and a leg. To be honest, now that I'm a mom...I don't know how I got hired as a nanny. How do I just trust some random college student to watch my child? I know I'm going to want to find someone doting and attentive. I hate to think of putting Gunnar in a daycare where he would just be plopped in some excersaucer and left to his own devices for hours on end. (Not to say all daycares are like this...I know my nephew goes to a very loving daycare in CT but in my mind loving daycares come with a hefty price.)