Something has happened to my baby boy's cry.
Suddenly it's unbearable to listen to.
I'm talking full on gut wrenching, blood curdling, ball to the walls deep yodeling "MAMAMAMADADADADADAMAMAMADADADADA!!!!!" complete with super soaker size tears streaming down his face....at 11:30pm, 3:00am, 4:45am...
...and I just. can't. stand. it.
I really thought I could be a tough mom. I was a nanny for a good portion of my adult life...I know how to put my foot down and just let a kid cry it out (when necessary) and still remain calm. But I don't know how to handle this. I truly feel like this could be manipulation. Because he started this particular scream a few nights ago and it awarded him a snuggle in bed with mama for the rest of the night (a rare prize in this family). But I didn't know what else to do...now I think he thinks this is the ticket to some late night company.
So I try to wait it out. It can't go on forever. He'd lose his voice if he screamed like that for longer than 10 minutes. The trouble is...I can't make it longer than 3. The sound is slowly eating away at my heart and I'm pretty sure his main food source (me) will die of heartbreak if I don't address this immediately.
No feeding required. The kid just wants to cuddle. Which is sweet...but at 3am...I'm not a push-over like that...I need my beauty rest. NO child, NO! I need to sleep. But then he puts his heavy head on my shoulder...and I melt. Okay...maybe for a few minutes. Geeze! What's become of me? Am I training my child to scream? Am I teaching him how to manipulate?
We both lost so much sleep last night that G and I slept in til noon today. Oy!
Will it happen again tonight? I don't know...
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